Dia, what? What do you mean? I mean exactly what this post says…USE YOUR PAIN FOR PLEASURE. Plain and put…we have a story. We have our skeletons in our closet. We have our secrets. I’m not saying you have to hold up this big sign of your demons or revisit them everyday, but STOP RUNNING FROM THEM. STOP HIDING THEM. If you are still blessed to be here today, that makes you a fighter. If you are trying to overcome, that means you won…you didn’t lose. So why not be an inspiration to someone else? Your pain can not only be someone else’s pleasure. It can be their warning, their lesson, their motivation. Your pain is not only your inward struggle…it’s YOU. It’s what makes you a gorgeous mess, a beautiful being, and a powerful individual. You could have been broken (and if you believe you are, you’re not). You could’ve committed suicide. You could’ve been everything the world was trying to tell you you are…BUT YOU ARE NOT. We enter life, not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing who will hurt us…only God knows. And if you don’t believe in anything else…this quote is not so “cliche”-Everything happens for a reason.
Your pain does not make you destitute. It does not make you filthy, unworthy, or any other negative things or thoughts that come towards you. Your pain…is your pleasure, it’s your story, it’s your journey, ITS YOUR FREEDOM. Because while you may dread what you used to be or what happened to you, you are not the same person any longer. Each day…we evolve. Each day…we are newer versions of ourselves. Each day…we prove that we didn’t fall. Nah, we’re still standing.
So the tip for today? I received the most thoughtful message from a mentee at my University. Just when I thought I was lost and wondering “How can I make a difference?”, she told me I already am. She told me how I inspire her in ways I don’t even see and if I am, you are too. People are watching YOU. And just like J. Cole said, “There’s beauty in the struggle.” So the tip for today? Reveal your pain, don’t conceal it. There’s beauty in YOUR struggle.
My struggle? Thanks for asking. My struggle was seeking the attention in ALL the wrong ways, trying to grow up TOO fast, succumbing to LUST, seeking pleasure, not treating my body as the temple it was, being mistreated, abandonment, not realizing my beauty should’ve been defined by ME and not other people, men or society. My struggle was a million of insecurities from my weight, lying to make my life seem like “more” and playing victim, people pleasing, and throwing my happiness in the hands of people who didn’t deserve it. This was my struggle. This is how life chose to break me. But oh, you don’t know how much you’re broken until God shows up to fix it. And he’s showed up this year and he’s working to show me his grace, his mercy, and most importantly-his love. And I must say…it is the most slow, weird, and painful growth yet.
It doesn’t matter what we did, what will we do, or what may even happen tomorrow. All that matters is that we learn how to love, we learn how to grow, we learn how to forgive. I choose to learn how to do it all. I choose my pain & my struggles to inspire someone else. Because I’m not broken. I’m…evolving.